Man jokes
A man with no arms is tasked with a lot of jobs. Then he says to his boss, "I can't handle all of this!"
Why did the man walk into a bar?
Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
What do you call a rich Chinese man? Ching Ching.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Good sex sounds like a white man walking across the street with flip-flops on.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
A girl said, "Suck my dick," and the man went, "I have boobs."
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
Man's got that big bati, you know.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
Confucius say, "man who go to sleep with itchy bum, wake up with smelly finger."
What did the deaf man say to the blind man before he fell into the well?
Nothing.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.