Man jokes
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.
Give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish, and he'll become a prince.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.