Make jokes

What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!

The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.

God- make a grumpy old man president.

Angel- why?

G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

A- okay.

G- make him not pay taxes.

A- okay...

Fast forward to 2020

G- you know that grumpy old man?

A- yea...

G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

A- Krona.

G- exactly.

A- why do you hate humans so much?

G- because I can.

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

The 10 cents said to the 1 cent, "Haha, I make more cents than you!"

Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

How do you make a disabled person cry?

Let's go play tag!

Taco Bell makes you crappy.

What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.

Best friend makes joke about 9/11.

Me: My pop was a part of that!

Best friend: So sorry!

Me: My pop was the pilot of the plane, he flew through 89 floors.

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

W2S, you stinky, stanky fad. Seeing your disstracks really makes me wanna fap.

Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.

What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?

One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.

What does a frozen loading screen and a Make-A-Wish kid have in common?

They both couldn't make it all the way.

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