Make jokes

Why do mummies have trouble making friends?

Stop making jokes about Kobe.

HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

I don't trust atoms.

They make up everything.

Why can't white people post jokes about making fun of black people, but black people can post jokes about making fun of white people?

Because white people have white privilege.

What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!

The difference between women and beer is that beer makes you happy for nothing, why women make you angry for nothing.

God- make a grumpy old man president.

Angel- why?

G- cause I said so-name him Trump.

A- okay.

G- make him not pay taxes.

A- okay...

Fast forward to 2020

G- you know that grumpy old man?

A- yea...

G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.

A- Krona.

G- exactly.

A- why do you hate humans so much?

G- because I can.

Jack took Jill up a hill to have a picnic, but Jack and Jill got drunk. They then Jill unzipped Jack's fly, then said, "You know you want me to."

He said yes, so she took off her dress and bra. Jack took his pants and shirt off too. They both went in the well together and played a game: Jack's candy stick in Jill's candy stick. Next, Jill was sucking Jack's candy stick while Jack licked and sucked her candy stick, then Jill sat on Jack's candy stick while making out.

Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.

Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?

What is one thing humans do before they eat?

They beat their meat to make nuggets.

How do you make a disabled person cry?

Let's go play tag!

Taco Bell makes you crappy.

What should I write a joke about? Name the subject, and I’ll make a joke about it.

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.

Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.

How to make emo cakes:

Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!