Make jokes

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

If something doesn't make sense to an Eskimo... is it counterINUITive?

How do you make an octopus laugh?

You give it ten tickles.

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

I don't trust atoms.

They make up everything.

What kind of bees make milk?

BooBees.

How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.