Make jokes

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

CrispynuggetONYT

Who make hard candy for the kids?

Solve.

Alex

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the devil read the Bible.

crowbar

How do you make 7 an even number? Take the "s" out!

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

How does Moses make his coffee?

Hebrews it.

What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What do you call a group of letters that like to dance but make you want to poop?

A vowel movement.

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing boeing boeing.

What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.

What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."

Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.

My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord.

I only believe in 12.5% of everything the Bible says.

Which makes me an eighth-theist.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.