Make jokes
What type of sound does your crack make?
Answer: Quack!
How do you make a Tico dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.
My sister thinks she's so smart, she said onions are the only food that makes you cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
Sleep, but make it forever.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
Someone is talking about you behind your back, make run "vhaleka."
Person one: What did the DJ name his son?
Person two: IDK, what?
Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).
Life's like a dick. Women make it hard for no reason.