Make jokes
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? đź’©
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What type of sound does your crack make?
Answer: Quack!
How do you make a Tico dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
Why do mummies have trouble making friends?
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the Flash stop dead in his tracks.
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
I was making vegetable soup yesterday, but the wheelchair wouldn’t fit.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
God- make a grumpy old man president.
Angel- why?
G- cause I said so-name him Trump.
A- okay.
G- make him not pay taxes.
A- okay...
Fast forward to 2020
G- you know that grumpy old man?
A- yea...
G- make him create a deadly virus named after a beer.
A- Krona.
G- exactly.
A- why do you hate humans so much?
G- because I can.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Head teacher talking about recent vandalism during school assembly:
"And to those of you who wrote Mr. Smith's telephone number on the door of the girl's toilets, he would like to make it clear that the last digit is a 7 and not a 4."
You know how in the movie, "Nightmare Before Christmas," they say they're making Christmas?
I thought Mary and Joseph did, but okay.