I make sience puns periodically
Cousins make dozens.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?
She kept making dad jokes.
Q: How do Chinese people name their kids?
A: They throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what noises they make.
Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.
So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.
Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."
