Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
I make science puns periodically.
Cousins make dozens.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.
if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom
Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
Q: What's the hardest thing about losing your virginity?
A: Making sure she doesn't wake up.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
What do you call Hitler?
Gay.
