Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Magic Jokes
What a magic trick, it's so bad!
Too bad, chick.
What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
A dwarf walks into a bar.
He asks for a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him the 🥃, and it turns into a gallon of whiskey. The bartender sees this and takes it back, and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
What do you call a teen wizard who just went through puberty?
Hairy Potter.
That awkward moment when you thought the guy was a pretty good magician, and only then realize he simply suffers from leprosy.
What did the magician do as a trick in his show?
Make your doubts about magic... DISAPPEAR!
Why did the rapper become a magician?
Because he wanted to drop some ILL-USIONS.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL ILLUSIONIST
Too many people.
Not enough VooDoo dolls.
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Who’s better, Bird or Magic?
How do you get into Hogwarts? Through the Dumble Door.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
What's a witch's favorite subject?
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
