To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.
If I had a genie grant me wishes, I wouldn't wish for a million pounds. I'd just wish that every time I buy something I just have the right amount of money in my pocket at the time.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
Ma-SCARE-a!
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
I was doing a magic show. I tried to make a bunny disappear, but it didn’t work.
I walked outside in shame. I looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
One man was very depressed because he lost everything. He lost his job. He lost his home, and he lost his wife. So he went lonely into the forest to grieve.
Suddenly, with his head raised up, he sees Santa Claus walking by. "Santa?" he asks. "Why are you early? It is not even Christmas?"
"Ho, ho. Don't worry about me. Let's worry about you instead," says Santa. "What is the problem, my friend?"
"I lost everything good in my life. I got fired from my job. My wife divorced me. I lost my house."
Santa: "I can help you. You can wish three things you want in life, and I'll give it to you."
Man: "My first wish is I want my house back."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My second wish is I want 1 million in cash in my bank account."
Santa: "Done!"
Man: "My third wish is I also want my job back!"
Santa: "Done, but before I actually give you those wishes, I have to hump you."
Man: "Okay. Let's do it."
So Santa Claus takes off his pants to hump the man.
After they are done humping, Santa asks the man: "How old are you?"
Man: "I am 35 years old."
Santa: "And still believe in Santa Claus??!! HOHOHOHO!!!"
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
What do you call a booty that can do magic?
A butt trick!
What do you call a wizard you uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!
what a magic trick its soo bad
to bad chick
A dwarf walks into a bar.He ask for a shot of whiskey.The bartender gives him the 🥃 and it turn into a gallon of whiskey.The bartender sees this and takes it back and it turns back into a shot of whiskey.
