Lot jokes
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.
Do people live on the Earth 🌏? Yes, a lot of people live on the Earth 🌎.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Gwen just wanted to let you know you suck like a lot, you are a loser. 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😬😬😬😬😏😏😏😏
What's the difference between your new girlfriend and a tornado? At first, there is a lot of blowing, and then your house will be gone.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Life is a lot like a penis. It's relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Roses are red, I hate snitches, You talk a lot of game for a guy with 3 inches.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."
My crush: "I cut 4 inches off my hair yesterday." Me: "So?" My crush: "4 inches is a lot!" Me: "Oh yeah?"
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.