Lot jokes
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.
For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?
A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.
They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
We saved a transvestite in a tight mini skirt from a tree.
I thought I showed a lot of balls.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
Gwen just wanted to let you know you suck like a lot, you are a loser. 🤓🤓🤓🤓🤓😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😬😬😬😬😏😏😏😏
Uranus has a lot of poop. Yeah. That is my joke.
My dad owns a countertop store and sometimes he'll barter.
A lot of the time he will take things for granite.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Christopher Columbus: *Sees native Americans* Can I see your land?
Native Americans: Sure, just be care..........
Christopher Columbus: Boonk gang whole lot of gang shit.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Hello, I am Sflugo. I am opening the Pro Orphan Joke Club because a lot of people are saying to get rid of them, but we say NO! If you want to join, comment and say, "#SaveOrphanJokes."
I found a place before called an orphanage, but when I was allowed in there were lots of kids, and I said, "Where's your parents? Oh yeah, you're orphans." Gosh, that was one heck of a day!
I got a text from Kb. She said: "Really Gwen said that! Will fine Idc! \"Hurt\""
Thanks a lot, Gwen!