Lot Jokes

Why do orphans play a lot of tennis? Cause that's the only way they get love.

My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack

I always hit on 16, the get busted

i have a lot of respect for trans women

that surgery takes balls!

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.

Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards? Yeah, they're pretty holey.

What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur? A Eat-a-lot-of-pus

When I was a kid I used to read a lot. I mainly grew up reading stories by Shakespeare, especially the story Romeo & Juliet. That one in particular taught me a valuable life lesson. It taught me to not be surprised when my girlfriend killed herself.

So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head

Girlfriend: "One day I will marry and a lot of men will be sad that day." Boyfriend: "Wow, how many men do you plan to marry?"

Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...

It’s a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.

Dark jokes are like home a lot of people don't get.

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"

The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it lead to a lot of people steeling them.

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

Doctor: I'm sorry but your surgery will cost a lot of money. Buuuuuut what's this behind your ear? Oh it's still cancer

Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of anti-bodies.

Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.

I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...