Lot jokes

Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!

Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!

Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!

Frisk: HAHAHA

Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!

Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."

If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?

The type that gets raped a lot.

Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?

Must be lots of drunks there.

If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

I went to Pen Island for vacation this summer. There were a lot of bones.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you a lot!

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.

Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?

They both use lots of oil.

It's called Costa Coffee because it's short for "Cost A lot for boiled, rancid dishwater."

I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.