Lot jokes

Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."

What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.

Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...

It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.

If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.

School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!

Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!

Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!

Frisk: HAHAHA

Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!

Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!

Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.

Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.

If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.

What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?

A clout chaser.

Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.

FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!