Lot

Lot Jokes

Man

How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.

Hairline

People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.

Partner

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

Lock

Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.

School

School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

Papyrus

Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!

Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!

Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!

Frisk: HAHAHA

Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!

Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!

Gender

If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.

Gwen

Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.

Society

What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?

A clout chaser.

Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.

Man

A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.

Egg

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

Ball

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

Animal

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Owl

Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?

Because he’s a hoot.

Suicide

One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

Disaster

FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.