Lot jokes
What's the difference between a blonde chick and Alzheimer's?
None, because they both forget a lot.
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Viagra is a lot like amusement parks...
It's a one hour wait, for a two-minute ride.
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.