How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
Kobe missed a lot of shots, but he sure didn’t miss the mountain.
Hey, y'all, I just wanna say thanks to Gwen on here. She writes jokes, and she got me through a lot xx.
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
What takes up 10 parking spaces? Five female drivers.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
FEMA during a natural disaster is kinda like me during sex. Slow to respond and not a lot of satisfying results.
Why does the owl 🦉 have a lot of friends?
Because he’s a hoot.
School would be a lot different if the quiet kid had an RPG.
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot
