Tons

Tons Jokes

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? Its kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

Two skeleton brothers are talking 1st bro: Hey get up you and do some exercise you are so hevy you weigh a ton! 2nd bro: A skele-TON :)

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!

7

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

5 4 3 2 1. A castle ways a ton. 5 4 3 2 1. The Queen of England's won. I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.

*tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. i mean, there's a skele-ton of em! you gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. did those tickle your funny bone? now i've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. now if you hate all these, i won't be bothered, i got thick skin! but first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. now, i gotta go to grillby's. they got a discount on spare-ribs. bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.

Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad...to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter."

*You heard a conversation between sans and Papyrus

sans: "sub bro" Paps: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZELS!" sans: "easy bro, i have done a ton of work today" sans: "a skele-ton" (Drum effect) Paps: "OH MY GOD SANS!"