The 40+ Best Tons Jokes

What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions???

Answer: Expresso!!! (KILL MEH)

Two skeleton brothers are talking 1st bro: Hey get up you and do some exercise you are so hevy you weigh a ton! 2nd bro: A skele-TON :)

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How much work does a skeleton get done? A SKELE-TON

What is heavy forward but not backward? -- "ton".

Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I have a ton of work to do... A skeleTON

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!

How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.

5 4 3 2 1. A castle ways a ton. 5 4 3 2 1. The Queen of England's won. I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.

Tons of people committed suicide on 911 by destroying government property Not to mention and by plane

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music? Because he had a ton of sick beets.

Hey guys todays funnyiest prank: Is when I poored a bunch of red whine into the chicken salad...to be honest and was a TON of whine I purded in there! My family could not tell the dirfense at all! Anyway bye thats the prankster! Next time or see time next!

Has anybody else noticed that out of nowhere there are always tons of people online? Its kinda trippy if I'm being honest.

Here are some skeleton jokes You know the average person tries to hard and works himself to the bone If that joke didn't tickle your funny bone i can give you a real humerous joke I used to play the trumpet now i play the xylo-bone im always happy nothing gets under my skin I made you some turkey for lunch Bone appetit Im glad i had you im no longer bonely Ive got a skele-ton of more jokes but i'm just giving you one more Did you hear about the skeleton ninja he was very skullful (skillful)