Lost jokes
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?
Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.
Why aren't Americans good at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.
Why didn't Trump beat Biden?
Because he couldn't trump that bitch!
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?
Because he lost May!
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
Dad: What did your older brother say before he lost his virginity?
Son: Dad, please don't.
Dad: Exactly.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
I've been looking for my parents for years. For the life of me, I can't remember where I buried them.
Steven Hawking lost the Wi-Fi connection on March 14, 2018.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why can't British people play chess?
Because they lost their queen.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"