Lost jokes
A DAY IN THE HAZBIN HOTEL
[The lobby of the Hazbin Hotel. Angel is doing his makeup; Husk is passed out at the bar.]
Alastor: (Appears with a blender and a jar of red liquid) Merely ensuring fresh provisions.
Angel: Margaritas?
Vaggie: (Entering, suspicious) What is that?
Alastor: A certain Sir lost his fizz.
(Alastor turns on the unsecured blender. Red goo sprays everywhere, coating Vaggie, Charlie, and the walls.)
Vaggie: (Screaming, covered) You got Sir Pentious all over my wings!
Charlie: That's not a smoothie!
Angel: (Snapping a photo) Looks like someone’s career just got blended!
Why is America so bad at playing chess?
They lost two towers.
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
Why can't England play Clash, Chess, or Checkers?
Because they lost their queen.
Why can’t American people play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Why can't the English play chess? Because they lost their queen. And why can't the US play chess? Because they lost their towers.
You know the saying, "Third time's the charm?"
Well, Germany lost twice.
America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.
What was Kurt Cobain's biggest flaw?
He had a short temper and lost his head over everything.
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome. I told my mom I wanted my first time to be special.
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
Why did the cellphone get glasses? Because it lost its contacts!
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.