Lost

Lost Jokes

Government

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

Election

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

Chess

Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?

Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.

Chess

Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?

Because they lost their queen and two towers.

Case

Did you hear about the guy who was arrested for stealing luggage? Unfortunately, he lost his case.

Transgender People

Why do Republican men hate transgender people?

Because they lost a dick-measuring contest to a ladyboy in Thailand!

Tower

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

They already lost two towers.

Pop

What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.

COVID-19

How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?

She lost her taste.

Fatman

why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.

Japan

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

Dark Humor

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Rapper

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always know where the BEAT is.

Doctor

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

Rapper

Why did the rapper bring a map to the concert?

Because he didn't want to get LOST in the FLOW.

Rapper

Why don't rappers ever get LOST?

Because they always find their way with their GPS (Great Poetic Skills).

Rapper

Why don't rappers ever get lost?

Because they always follow the street signs.