Lost

Lost jokes

Chat

  • Gwen I set out some chats for us just got to pr!

    Btw I can't chat because I lost my internet stuff, so I am using my school computer. I don't have long, but I will make sure to have some time 4 u.

    Game

  • My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].

    Me: So tell me about it then.

    My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.

    Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?

    My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.

    Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.

    My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.

    Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.

    My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.

    Me: My bad again. Do continue.

    My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.

    Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?

    My cousin: By the game.

    Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]

  • 3
  • Knight

  • What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.

    What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.

    Friend

  • I lost my black friend in the shadows. I lost my white friend on the wall. I lost my Asian friend in the sand and I lost my Islamic friend in the bombings.

    Zipper

  • Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?

    Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.

  • 4
  • War

  • A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...

    "What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"

    Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."

    "Oh, right. How's it going?"

    "Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."

    "Wow! What about NATO?"

    "They haven't turned up yet."

  • 1
  • Atom

  • Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

    One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

    The other asks, "Are you sure?"

    "Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

    Timmy

  • A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."