Lose Jokes

Me: Tells a racist joke on the internet and no one bats an eye.

Also me: Tells the same joke at KFC and everybody loses their mind.

I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic. I figured I would steel it and put it on this site. I mean, it was either that, ore lose it forever.

Why do pedophiles always lose a race?

Because they cum in a little behind.

How did the British lose the war of 1812

They were out Britshed

Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

Where does hitler look first when he loses something? The attic

When a women removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye. But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

my doctor said i need to lose calories, so i got a piece of paper, wrote calories and lit it on fire.

child abortion is like tax evasion the more you lose the less problems you have

Why did the doctor get mad

Because he was losing he's patients

You can't lose kahoot if you Kashoot the class first

I congratulated my friend and losing all that baby weight she started crying told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.

So I took down his confederate flag.

Americans don't like playing chess with muslims, last time they did play they ended up losing two towers.

Once there were twins, Mark and Michael, Mark was the owner of a old boat. It so happened that Michael's wife died the same day that Mark's boat sank. A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Mark and mistook him for Michael. She said, "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must just feel terrible. "Mark, thinking that she was talking about his boat, said, "Heck no. In fact, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always losing her water; she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy. I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle!" The old lady fainted. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."