Look jokes

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

An orphan went on a game show.

The host looked at him and said, "You can't play, this is Family Feud."

(Only Ninjago fans understand XD)

If you look outside and it's really windy, it's really cloudy, and the sky looks greenish... you better run, 'cause it has to be Morro!

Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.

"You look like Barney, I'm choking you too, and your face is turning all purple and blue!"

When I feel ugly, I just look at my brother and get over it.

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.

Look at my name and you'll see the joke (read it out loud).

Femboys are looking kinda tasty for a date, especially the dick and their balls.

A dad and son walk into a strip club. The people in the strip club said he was too young to be in here, so they had to leave. Ten years later, they went back there. They saw a small dancer. The father walked over there and said the woman looked too small to be in here. Her reply was... "I wasn't dancing ten years ago."

Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.

My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.

Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!

I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.

Interfischl

Happy

Apple

Tea

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"