Look jokes

My cousin called me ugly.

Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.

Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.

A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.

I had to fix his collarbone.

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

Plz look up rainbow kiss - Bill Cosby.

What did the egg who was sun bathing say to the other egg? Don't look at my crack!

Why did Johnny drop his pencil?

To look up girls' skirts! 😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊

You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!

Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!

What do you call a white kid looking at infants?

Pedophilia boy.

What makes Asians look like they're laughing at everyone? They're squinting before they hear the joke.

My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?

My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...

Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.

*Everyone Looks at me*

A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.

A girl looked in the fridge. She got mad that somebody ate the last ice cream cone. She ran into her sister's room and said, "This is why you're fat!" Then fell down the stairs. Good thing she had that belly roll to save her.

Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"

Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"

Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"

Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"

"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."