Look jokes
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
Jesus was being hung up on the cross, and me and all the other people at the bottom of the hill were watching. Jesus cries out,
"Peter, Peter come to me!"
So I climb up the hill on my hands and knees, and when I reach the top, the Romans cut off my arms and chuck me back down the hill.
"Peter, Peter come to me!" cries Jesus once more. I stumble up the hill, then the Romans cut my legs off and threw me back down. For the third time, Jesus cries,
"Peter, Peter come to me!". So I wriggle up the hill, and I guess the Romans pitied me and let me through.
"Look Peter, I can see my house from here!"
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the Cheshire Cat.
Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!
I'm not looking for consent, I'm looking for cooperation!
Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?
My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.
Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
Where did Sally go during the bombings? Everywhere!
Why didn’t the parents bother looking for her? Because she was in the front and back yard in small chunks! 😂
A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.
Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"
I bet when you were born, the doctor looked away because of your virginity.
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
"Don’t look! I saw you peeking through the window."
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I can’t fix that!"
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.