Look jokes
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
"Donât look! I saw you peeking through the window."
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I canât fix that!"
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just donât look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said thatâs a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Stevenâs mom wasnât home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just donât look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said itâs a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just donât look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights Thereâs a snake in the bush.
Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.
The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasnât just about to say cumâthen the pool was full of cuâI mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasnât full of dildos./j
You look like the 0.01 percent of germs the Lysol didn't kill.
If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "Iâm gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
A: She looks good when she opens her hair. đŽ
B: You will look good when you open your wallet. đ
you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I canât."
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, Iâm changing!
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."