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Rapist

Dani: Hey, do you like rapists?

Tess: No!

Dani: Oh, well I'm a rapist!

Tess: Oh!

Bullying

WTF is wrong with you guys? This is bullying. Stop it, please, but Shaenaya sounds like a good name.

Jumper

What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?

Their ankles.

Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.

Caesar

When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

Son

Rhydon- son.

Rhydon? - mum.

RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

XD

Bed

I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

Orphan

What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.

Deodorant

Why did the Indian man refuse to use deodorant? Because he wanted to smell like his natural habitat, the shitter.

Adoption

Adopting a kid is like having a yard sale! I mean, if the owners don't want it anymore, what makes you think I want it?

Meme

Deez nuts, can we get much higher?

Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.

Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Momma

I'm going to destroy your momma's [vulgar term] just like I destroyed that Tastykake.

Dam

Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."

Orphan

Why do orphans like the movie Home Alone?

Because they're home alone themselves!