Like jokes

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

Your hairline is like Spiderman: far from forehead.

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖

My dick is like the way home for an orphan, its length is never-ending.

Knock knock. Who's there? You... You who? You smell like shit!

The only hood I like is pointy and white.

That's why I can't trust people when I don't see their face at night.

A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."

"Fucking cracker and you smell like fish!"

She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I’ll be honest... She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna.

My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.

Why doesn't The View have anyone on it who is trans? They just look like they are.

I don’t like to play games, actually. There is one game: It’s Barbie. Of course, I’ll be Ken, and you’ll be the box cum in.

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.

Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.

High school is amazing. Like if you agree!

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.

Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.

Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.

I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.

Maybe I'm just too old at this point.

I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!

Three men met on a nude beach. Two of the three men were happy, but the third was sad.

The three men broke into a conversation. The topic eventually reached the men's jobs, and why they were at the beach.

"I'm a construction worker," said the first man. "All year long I toil in the sun in very heavy clothes, so this seemed like the perfect vacation for me. If I can relax and do it naked, that's a win-win."

"I'm an accountant," said the second man. "I just like how everyone here is dressed exactly the same."

The first two men turned to the third, sad man. "What do you do?" they asked.

"I'm a pickpocket," said the third man. "My doctor sent me here."

What does a pickle look like a p*nis?