Like jokes
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 2: LIKE: When the school shooter knocks on the classroom door and the autistic kid opens it.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter is gonna clap the football team, but his AK jams: “Take it easy guys, I was just joking!”
Vote for the better joke.
What does Mars like to eat?
A Mars bar!
Your mom's like a candy machine; she pops out for anybody.
I liked the chocolate mousse cake joke.
ky you def like her
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
I like whiteboards.
They're quite re-markable.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
One orphan said, "Daddy, chill." I was like, "You don't have a dad!"
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Jasper likes little girls and Bin Laden.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
Rape humor is not funny. Like if you agree.
Like this.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...
Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.
Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.
And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.
There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...
There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.
So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"