Like jokes
Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.
I bet you like men!
Leo is like a broken pencil... pointless.
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
Two homeless alcoholics want to get drunk but don't have enough money for even the cheapest drinks in any bar. So one of them devises a clever plan: he tells his friend, "We should buy a hot-dog sausage with the last of our money and stick it down my pants, then drink a load of drinks. But then when the bill comes, you get down and suck on the hot-dog, and it'll look like you're sucking on my dick. So then we'll get thrown out without paying, and we can just go to another bar and do the same thing again."
His friend agrees, so they buy the hot-dog, stick it down the first dude's pants, go to the bar, and then the second dude begins to suck on the hot-dog as agreed. They are thrown out and hit another four bars this way. In the end, as they lie drunk on the floor in some alleyway, the second guy says, "Well, what a great night. Free beers in five different bars!" The first guy says, "Yeah! Especially since the hot-dog fell out before we even reached the first bar!"
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
Osama bin Laden
Got like 2,997 kills, damn, that's a new record!
Why does Ama like boomerangs? Because they actually come back!
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Why don't lesbians like dick? Because they don't want their mouths looking like Jesus Christ's hands.
It's funny that everyone is depressed, like, I mean:
Bullys are depressed.
Nerds are depressed.
Bad girls/boys are depressed.
Kind humans are depressed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
I’m like an escalator because I’m always letting people down.
There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.