Like jokes

Why doesn't Karl Marx like Earl Grey Tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

One would think Dracula would have a lot of friends. Unfortunately, no one likes him. He is a pain in the neck.

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

Do you like my a-corn-y jokes?

The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"

The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."

The circular saw would reply with, "What?"

I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?

And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.

"Addison, are you one of those kids who are very, very, very, very smart? Because you sound like one."

Ads? More like bads.

You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!

Texas be like everything is bigger here: guns and winter storms!

What did the Deagle say to the G17?

"Son, you're rushing, but in some way, I like it."

Women be like, "Men's heights," then cry when they get called fat...

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

Why do you like cream instead of bugs?

Because bugs can kill you.

One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!

Your hairline looks like the Antarctica waves.

Texas be like, "We vote to freeze ourselves!"