Like jokes

Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?

Because for them, love isn't an open door.

I go beep like a Jeep.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

My boyfriend always likes when I wear my fishnet sleeves. He says it looks great on me, but he doesn’t know that my skin is covered with scars... no one does. No one questions why I wear them everyday. I hope it stays like that because I can’t deal with my mom finding out that I still hurt myself.

How is the world like a box of crayons?

Nobody likes the white ones.

And a side note, it's multi colored.

"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!

If you are friendly on a game, should I will kill you in the game? You should say, "Will, if you did kill me, I will tell my more friendly to ban you from the game." The friendly should [ask], "What you got?" Friendly on the game [replies], "Jack, you are not my friendly, the all friendly you be ban, if you don't get it, will have fun." If you don't like the text, I am come for you. Ok, now like it, the end.

There were two friends talking one day. Tim tells John, "I think I'm gay."

John says to Tim, "What do you mean?"

Tim says, "When I grow up, I want to dress like a woman and sing karaoke in a bar and call myself (Gillette the best a man can get)!"

John says to Tim, "I think you're right, and thanks for reminding me I need to buy razors."

"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."

Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."

Mom: "No?"

"Like in heaven?" said the mother.

"No, juice," Sally said.

Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Like petals in the wind, My heart dances for you.

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

A vagina is like the weather. Once it’s wet, it’s time to go inside.

Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?

Because they don't like Dick's!

Your insults are like a blank bullet: a stupid and harmless joke.

They say people can have a sharp mind. Yours is like a dull knitting needle.

What song is the most annoying for a Serb?

Sweet Home Alabama (because it sounds like Sweet Home Albania)!