Like jokes

I like ramen. If you do, like!

A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"

The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"

What instruments do skeletons like to play?

Trombones.

The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.

"Peppa Pig"-like pandemics.

Your forehead so big you got to take Tylenol pills, big like chocolate chip cookies.

Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?

Cause it was plain.

How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."

So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the

Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

Is it just me, or everybody has a dark side, like a psycho side, and then you act like crazy for some reason?

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

Why do orphans like going to church?

Because they actually get to say "father" for once.

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

What hairstyle do horses like best while reading a story?

Pony-tails.

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

My friend is so short, whenever I dance with her, it’s like dancing with a golf tee.

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

Life is like a bag of jellybeans.

Nobody likes the black ones.