Like jokes
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.
Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
Girls are like bacteria. The toxic ones are everywhere, and you have to take special care of the good ones.
Facial detection? More like racial detection.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
You're built like a double cheeseburger.
Why do orphans not like Family Guy? Because they have family.
Why do orphans not like laptops?...
They don't have a homepage.
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
Yo, hairline looking like a flight trajectory path.
Your hairline is so discombobulated, it looks like a geometrical shape.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
Why are the two friends like the Twin Towers?
They fell apart.
Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)
Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.
Hailey: "Hey Brayden!"
Brayden: "Hey!"
*Music roles around*
*I tell Brayden Hailey likes him*
Brayden: "O_O"
Hailey: *Hides*
So sad </3 xD
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"