Like jokes
What instruments do skeletons like to play?
Trombones.
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a needle.
Doctor: I see your point!
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
TDS? More like STDs.
I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
What does Michael Jackson like?
Teabags.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
When a woman says, "I need to be treated like a delicate flower," don't cut the wrong cord on the bomb.
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
What do you call a disabled person that has no legs and likes being alone?
Leaving, walking.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.