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Girl

  • So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

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  • Leg day

  • When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

    Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

    Mirror

  • At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

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  • Kanye

  • Hey guys, I just wanna say what happened to Kanye; he is one of my favorite rappers, and he’s going through a hard time. I don’t see why people can’t just spread love and kindness like me💕

    I think that Kanye was right to say what he said. I completely support him, and I don’t understand why people hate on him for using his 1st amendment, and Yeezy should be sued for it.

    Quote of the day: Love bests hate as for hate is the killer of friendships - Collin Kaepernick

    Pie

  • The pie tasted weird today.

    Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.

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  • Woman

  • Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.

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  • Noose

  • "Do you have a noose?"

    "Nose?"

    "Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

    "I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

    "No."

    *Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

    Present

  • Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.