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POV: me telling a joke.

My dad: nobody likes a smart-ass.

Me: Nobody likes a smart-ass until the smart-ass finds a cure for cancer.

Straight men change their girlfriends like they change their undies. So, about once a month.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.

He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.

How is the world like a box of crayons?

Nobody likes the white ones.

And a side note, it's multi colored.

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.