Light jokes
Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."
Cam was hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
I’m light as a feather, yet the strongest person can’t hold me for five minutes. What am I?
If Kamala Harris is Indian, why doesn’t she have that dot on her head?
So she claims to be.
And the only black color I know is when you shut off the lights.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
God said, “Let there be light,” so it beamed off your forehead, and so I turned into Stevie Wonder and called it night.
Me: The light wow brighter than my future.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?
To get to the other side.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.
If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.
Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.
Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.
Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.
"I wish I was either Christmas lights or a mistletoe."
"Why?"
"Because I want to hang!"
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
How many Kardashians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One really small one and one really small black guy.
In the realm of Danny, Ben, and Paxton, A trio of souls intertwined, Their stories woven with grace and might, A tale of friendship, ethereal and fine.
Danny, the dreamer with stars in his eyes, Chasing visions that danced in his mind, With every thought, a world he'd create, A poet, an artist, one of a kind.
Ben Power, the steadfast, a force to behold, With strength that could move mountains high, His heart, a fortress, unyielding and bold, A protector, a guardian, forever nigh.
Paxton, the wanderer, a spirit untamed, Roaming free wherever the wind blew, In every step, a new adventure claimed, A seeker, a nomad, forever anew.
Together they stood, a harmonic blend, Different paths converging as one, In the depths of their bond, a love unfurled, A symphony played, forever sung.
Through trials and triumphs, they faced the storm, Hand in hand, against the tempest's might, With laughter, tears, and hearts so warm, They shared the darkness, embracing the light.
Oh, Danny, Ben, and Paxton, forever bound, Through the pages of life, your stories unfold, In the tapestry of friendships profound, Your spirits, like poetry, forever bold.
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
About one third less than for a regular bulb.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.