Light jokes

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.

Q: How can you tell the sun is a boy?

A: It rises every morning.

what do you call a shadow stalker REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

A photon is checking into a hotel.

The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"

The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."

How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?

Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!

Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."

You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.

The match: "Ur my match." The thighs: "You light me up."

How did the retard win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.

Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.

Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.