God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "You have to say please first."
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Hey God what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire
sounds like a match made in heaven
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
Q. what do you give a sick lemon
A.lemon Ade
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low......... better turn em on just stubbed my fucking toe"
How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-*WOOF*
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what happens when a black person gets in a car? the check oil light turns on
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? - None, that's a hardware problem.
The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until its too light to light.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? It only takes one but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.
Youtubers say light and subscribe
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
Why did the planes crash into the twin towers ?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Wanna go ride a bike?
what's blue and doesn't weigh much???
Light blue.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb? One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her. ...just kidding- - none. They can't change anything.
