Light jokes

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.

How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?

They both light up the room.

What is burned dark and glued to the wall?

A bad electrician.

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.

I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.

I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.