Light jokes

I told the emo girl that I bet she's jealous of the hanging lights in the gym.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

I threw a lamp at the depressed kid. I was just trying to brighten up his day.

How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?

He saw flashing lights.

I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom... Until they are flashing behind you!

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

I ran over my neighbor's cat last night, and I just want to say... that thing was fast! I had to run a red light to get it!

How many Karens does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one...to call 911 and demand a cop come do something about the intimidating blackness.

Gary Glitter was imprisoned for inappropriate relations with preteens. Not to be outdone, Kelly Clarkson exclaimed, "Hold my Bud Light!" whilst grasping her 1-year-old daughter.

What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?

They both light up the room.

Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

What is burned dark and glued to the wall?

A bad electrician.

Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?

Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?

What do physically handicapped gay men do after they are done belching? They wipe their mouths on their light blue handkerchiefs after they are done sucking cocks.

I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.

I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.

I'm jealous of my LED lights, 'cause they're hanging from the ceiling and I'm not.

I like my kids how I like my lights, Hanging from the ceiling.

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!

Not funny, here’s another.

Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.