My nickname should be night light…because kids turn me on…

How many babys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Must be more then 9 cause my basement is still dark

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that’s my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask’s whats that,the little girl says "that’s my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask’s the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try’s putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see’s blood on the floor the mother ask’s "what happened the little girl say’s “we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off”

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do? I look for a way out, but there’s not even a light shining through. The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark. Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there’s always one who’s fair. That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect. Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side. Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know. But that was in the past and this isn’t about my dark ride, it’s time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? – Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.

How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-WOOF

how many EMO KIDS DOES IT to screw in a light bulb? none they all sit in the dark and cry

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) I’ll take over for you pops. God: I dunno….this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm…I’m still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) don’t touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:…….(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me……… God:….(sighs) fine it’ll stay. We’ll just call it….puberty

God’s racist. He separated light from dark.

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students attention… that one kid with epilepsy…

Q. what do you give a sick lemon

A.lemon Ade

What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look I’m about to change

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little boy says, “That’s my little red race car.” 10 minutes later the boy looks down and asks, “Whats that?” the little girl says, "that’s my little red race car garage.” So later that night the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She said yes and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage but it won’t fit. Down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor, the mother asks "What happened?” the little girl says, “We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit so i cut the back wheels off.”

I tried to think of how lighting works.then it struck me.

Doctor: “Does your penis burn after intercourse?”

Patient: “I don’t know. I never tried lighting it.”

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? – That’s a silly question feminists can’t change anything.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen cuz my basement is still dark. Let’s try fourteen.

Charizarding When you light a girls pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz then flap your arms and say “You don’t have have enough badges to train me”

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