How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? – Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.

Hey God what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire

sounds like a match made in heaven

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? – That’s a silly question feminists can’t change anything.

once we went to a light bulb party last night , YO it was freakin lit.

how many EMO KIDS DOES IT to screw in a light bulb? none they all sit in the dark and cry

That one teacher that flips on and off the light switch to get the students attention… that one kid with epilepsy…

Q. what do you give a sick lemon

A.lemon Ade

Best way to stop a fight between deaf people? Just turn off the Lights

Doctor: “Does your penis burn after intercourse?”

Patient: “I don’t know. I never tried lighting it.”

I tried to think of how lighting works.then it struck me.

God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) I’ll take over for you pops. God: I dunno….this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm…I’m still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) don’t touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:…….(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me……… God:….(sighs) fine it’ll stay. We’ll just call it….puberty

How do u turn a baby into a dog? Douse it in gasoline- light a match-WOOF

God’s racist. He separated light from dark.

How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb. None, because they can’t change anything.

Me and Jesus are really close he even turns the light on for me when i go pee in the middle of the, well that is what i thought until the fridge was wet.

I gotta song for Hawaii baby you light up my world like no body els

How many babies does it take to light up a basement?

I don’t know, my basement is still dark.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen cuz my basement is still dark. Let’s try fourteen.