Kids uncle " your mum said you can have your friends round tonight ! But imma have to baby sit today" . Kid "OK THANK YOU". (AT BED TIME ) Kid " Please may u stop touching my leg BEN!" Ben "im not " (turns light on ) Kid " UCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME !!!"
why is the sun so attractive? because it is burning hot!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light put when she touched him.
"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter."
me: the light wow brighter than my future
Why did the moon go to sleep because he was bossy
once we went to a light bulb party last night , YO it was freakin lit.
+
Hey God what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire
sounds like a match made in heaven
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
Why is the sun lit. Because is has much solar
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
I turned the light on and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
"Better lock 'em doors and turn the lights down low......... better turn em on just stubbed my fucking toe"
i told the emo girl that i bet shes jealous of the hanging lights in the gym
Why do they call matches, matches?
They all look the same.
What holds the sun ☀️ up in the sky?
Sunbeams
What is at the end of a rainbow
The w
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.