Light jokes
I stayed up all night trying to follow the sun... Then it dawned on me.
Children in the dark make mistakes.
Mistakes in the dark make children.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
Name an ant which is very heavy?
Eleph-ant.
How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?
Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
How long does it take for a depressed person to change a light bulb?
5 days. & I’m pretty proud of myself.
Why was the sun ☀️ mad at the clouds ☁️?
Because the clouds kept throwing shade.
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
What do a school shooter and a lightbulb have in common? They both light up the classroom. 🤡💀
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.