Lifestyle jokes
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
How many innocent succulents have been brutally killed by people trying to cure their depression?
I'm gay and an orphan.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
Q: What do you call a gang of emos?
A: Suicide Squad.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.