Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
Lifestyle Jokes
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?
Fruit cake.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
I wish my grass were emo because then it would cut itself.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
