Lifestyle jokes

What's a cannibal's favourite drink?

A Bloody Mary.

Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!

1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.

I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

Life lesson guys:

Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.

What’s another term for a lesbian?

A vagetarian.

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?

Fruit cake.

What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?

Nothing, they both hang.

What do emo kids like to smoke?

"Marjuanakillmyself."

I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.

I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.

Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?

A: Flip the chair upside down.

What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?

An emo.

My friends:

Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.

Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.

Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.

Me: You guys are getting sleep...

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.

Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?

I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.

What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?

Fruity Pebbles.

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.