Lifestyle jokes
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
Something I came across today.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
I asked my friend how long I can be in the sky. He said if you are emo, then forever.
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.