When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.
No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Nah, they eat emo meals.
I just got off the phone with Kristen Stewart yesterday. She said I was invited to her cookout this Friday. I said I'll come by and bring some drinks, like wine, beer, and liquor, so we can get our freak on all night and drink some cherry wine until daybreak ends.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.
Explain bear still lives in his mother's basement.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
What do you call a pretty person who loves Rolls? A roll model.
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
What do you call two emos spending time together?
Hanging out.
I'm an Alabama gamer and I wanna be free.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.
