Lifestyle jokes
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
What do you call a group of emos?
A cutting board.
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."