Lifestyle jokes
How do you know a gay guy has been in your house?
There are speedos in the microwave.
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
There is gonna be a huge party at the orphanage tonight because the parents ain't home.
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Beau Ruse is Gay.
I'm high and it's very hot.
I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.
I love vegans because they save more meat for us.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.
Turns out it was the fridge.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Can emo kids get a happy birthday?
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
What do you call a flat emo?
A cutting board.
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."