Lifestyle jokes
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
What do you call a group of emos?
A cutting board.
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
Memes
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
A kid just becomes an orphan, well, I guess it's better than being a hobo.
I heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your Pringles.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."