Lifestyle jokes
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you call a fat woman that prays?
A holy cow.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
What do you call a group of emos?
A cutting board.
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
What's an emo's favorite food?
Shot gun ammo.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.