Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?
The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.
Q: What happens when emos make out?
A: They don't; they just hang out.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
What do we want? A cure for obesity.
When do we want it? After lunch.
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?
Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.
Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.
So I don’t get pepper sprayed.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
