Lifestyle

Lifestyle jokes

Orphan

Why do orphans want to be dogs?

Because they want their own bed and food.

Emo

Why did the alarm go off when the emo and his friends left the store when they checked everything out?

The emo forgot to roll his sleeves up.

Emo

Q: What happens when emos make out?

A: They don't; they just hang out.

Emo kid

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Vegetarian

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.

Child

If I saw a homosexual or transsexual man do so much as TOUCH my child, he would be dead, zombified, and castrated by the end of the day.

Protect your young'uns from these degenerate freaks and live off the grid so they have no bearing on your life.

Emo

Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.

Real emo: same.

Fake emo: another piece of cake.

Orphan

What is the best thing about being an orphan?

All bags of chips are family-sized!

Sex

Lately, I’ve been wearing sunglasses when I have sex.

So I don’t get pepper sprayed.

Woman

I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.

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  • Emo

    Why does an emo wish they were a fish?

    Because they're underwater.

    Kid

    Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.

    Orphan

    Do you know what is good about being an orphan?

    Every candy bar is family sized.