What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesnโt last long for fat people.
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
How do you know itโs a gay guyโs birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
What's an emo's favorite game?
Hangman.
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
What is the only place fat people live?
Obi-city.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Why can't people in wheelchairs be gay? Cuz you can't be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
Your momma's so fat she started "Fat Lives Matter". Meetings are everyday:
11 o'clock McDonald's, 12 o'clock KFC, 1 o'clock Pizza Hut.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
Go on the quintillionaire morning routine now!
1. Wake up. 2. Take a shit. 3. Eat. 4. Get out of bed. 5. Have breakfast.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They donโt cook because they love eating out.
Life lesson guys:
Remember, being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Who cooks in a lesbian relationship?
Neither one of them, they eat out.
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
