Lifestyle jokes
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.