Lifestyle jokes
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.