Lifestyle jokes
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
Memes
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
How do emos fly? They hang themselves.
What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.