Lifestyle jokes
Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?
Have you ever tried to clean one?
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
How did the hipster burn his lips?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
What happens to Emos when they go up?
They never come down.
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Why is it good to be an orphan?
Because every bag of chips is family sized.
Yo, Dad is so skinny, he doesn't work out enough.
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
I wish my grass were emo because then it would cut itself.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.