Lifestyle jokes
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
One has a functioning neck.
What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
What do emos and bats have in common? The both hang.
How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?
You dye it blue and it will cut itself.
I asked the emo kid how it was hanging. He didn't reply because the rope was too tight.
What do you call an emo with a knife?
A cutting board.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...
I used to be emo.
What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!
What do Emos say to each other?
"I like your cuts, G."
What goes down but not up?
An emo.