Lifestyle jokes
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
I'm gay and an orphan.
Your mum eats cabbage.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
Yo mama so fat, that’s why people don’t want to marry her, except for fat guys.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
Why is it bad to high five an emo?
They will leave themselves hanging.
Why do emo kids not like trees? They always leave them hanging.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."
Don't Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt
You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my V8 engine with the windows tinted Boy, we came from the bottom, got it out the mud Whole block jumpin' 'cause the subs stay hittin'. If they roll up on me, know I keep one tucked (ooh, yeah) Woo Tell them boys come and get me. I be ridin' through the city. Young, rich and I'm pretty. Homie, don't get it twisted. Keep a semi in the hemi (oh) Red cup full of Henny. My hitters come in plenties, for real. You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my Wood grain dash with the matte black finish And it match my shawty with the big ol' butt. Know them boys soft 'cause they got hard feelings. You can try me if you wanna go and test your luck (woo) Tell them boys come and get me (get me) I be ridin' through the city. Young, rich and I'm pretty (yeah) Homie, don't get it twisted (yeah) Keep a semi in the hemi (in the hemi) Red cup full of Henny (yeah, we drinking) My hitters come in plenties, for real. You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my Woo, ooh, woo, ooh, woo, ooh Don't touch my truck (woo, ooh) Don't touch my truck
Which falls faster, a feather or an emo?
A feather, because the emos are always hanging in.