My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
Your mum eats cabbage.
The mom and dad left the child because they were famous and rich, like rich monkeys.
How do you starve a hippie? You hide its welfare check under the soap.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
The neighbor’s children challenged me to a water fight.
I’m just checking my Facebook quickly before the kettle boils.
What does a furry call a sexy furry?
A foxy lady!
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?
Rap lovers get more pussy.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Two to the one from the one to the three, I like good pussy and I like good trees, Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, And I get more ass than a toilet seat.
Three to the one from the one to the three, I met a bad bitch last night in the D, Let me tell you how I made her leave with me, Conversation and Hennessey.
I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top, Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped, If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock, And when I bust yo ass I'ma continue to rock.
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet, It's real easy just follow the beat, Don't let that fine girl pass you by, Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind.
Why did the nerd get scared of the emo? Because the nerd likes to leave the emo hanging.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
