Lifestyle jokes
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
What is a gay man's favorite hobby?
Cockfighting.
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?