Lifestyle jokes
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
What's the most emo name?
Carter.
Yo mama's so fat, I run around her for exercise.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
Imagine going up to an emo and saying, "You're just like a spider, you're both good at hanging."
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
You're so poor, you use the same toilet paper every time you take a poop!
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
What is a gay man's favorite hobby?
Cockfighting.
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop, I thought there had been a horrible accident.
Amanda Bynes is a lush blond who has quickly become a blond lush.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?