What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
If some girls are vegan, then why do they suck dick?
Did you know emo kids are the highest jumpers in the world? Some are still up there!
Abortion isn't murder, it's just canceling a pre-order.
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Wash It Away- By- Bradley Lewis(watersharky) and Ben Lewis and Watersharky Music Productions-Why does it always feel like I'm The one that's had a bad day? Whether I'm stuck in traffic or Showing up to work late Oh this 9 to 5 feels like 9 to Forever been working all week For a jerk that thinks they can Say whatever they want to me I'll just bite my tongue for a Couple more days Soon I'll be in that island sun Surfing those waves I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta wash it away Finally I'm here and I cant even Stop myself from smiling Somebody hand me a beer and I'll check the girls on the island Don't miss my 9 to 5 Living like a local on this island time I got those sandy toes and Nobody knows jump in the Ocean and just go with the flow I'll miss my sandy toes I've got to go back before you Know this island is my home I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta wash it away Wash it away I need the beach I love the ocean Put my feet in the sand Watch the earth in motion Ya had a bad week ya had a bad Day Take it to the shoreside and wash It away Oh yeah You gotta Wash it away Wash it away
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?
After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
I'm high and it's very hot.
I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
Hey, I’m not an alcoholic! I only drink 2 times a year. When it’s my Birthday, and when it’s not...
What do you call a gay man that is not a vegetarian?
A cocksucker.
Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.
