Lifestyle jokes
As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.
I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."
Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?
The adult person I asked: Cereal?
Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?
The person: Yes.
Me: WHAT?!!!??!!
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
You live in the airport.
When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?
"Wanna hang?"
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
What do me and an emo kid have in common:
We both like to hang.
Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
Being an orphan is crazy and fuck gay people.
The Emo kid was late to his flight, so he needed to cut to the chase.
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.