Lifestyle jokes

Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.

How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?

'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

Your mom's so poor, she chased the garbage truck with her grocery list.

Yo mama's so poor that when I was walking down the street, I saw her kicking the trash can, and I asked, "What are you doing?" She said, "I'm moving!"

As a son, I set up a home date with my mom and my friend because I was going out of town. I set it up by telling my friend that my mom thinks he is cute, and I told my mom that my friend thinks that she is hot.

I came home the next day. I see in the living room my friend giving it to my mom doggy style. I ask what's going on. My mom said to me, "Meet your new daddy," then my friend said, "Hey son, get me a beer from the fridge."

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

Why does an emo wish they were a fish?

Because they're underwater.

You live in the airport.

When the class plays hangman, the emos get inspired!

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.

What does an emo kid say when they wanna hang out?

"Wanna hang?"

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

What do me and an emo kid have in common:

We both like to hang.

Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."

Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?

Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!