What do a jack-o-lantern and an emo have in common?
They can both carve a new emotion.
Lifestyle Jokes
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner is wanted!
What's the difference between an emo and a prisoner?
The prisoner.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
When it's ready for pickup today, I have to get my stimulus payment for a while, and then we'll go to bed... 🥱🥹🥺
Why do emo kids not run? Because their bodies will tear apart from the bones from all the cuts.
What do emos and a bird nest have in common?
They both hang from a tree.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.
A hobo couple is making out under a bridge.
The girlfriend goes: - Johnny, why is your dick so soft? - Flip me over, I’m trying to shit!
How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just cry in darkness.
Why do emos cut their arms? Because they can't cut the rope.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
Fake emo: when I’m sad, I cut myself.
Real emo: same.
Fake emo: another piece of cake.
Why can’t an emo have sex?
They can’t make it to the bed, they kept swinging on the tree.
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
I wanted to play Fruit Ninja, but remembered I don’t have a phone. Guess I gotta draw fruit on my arm!