Lifestyle jokes
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
Why do emos cut themselves?
To play noughts and crosses.
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
Runescape is the only form of birth control that is 100% effective.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Beau Ruse is Gay.
I want diabetes so I can drink loads of Coke. - Louie Fennell 2018
Lesbians and blind women wear the same clothes.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.