Lifestyle jokes

How do you know a hippie is on her period?

Her socks are missing.

How do you know she's off?

Her socks are tye-dye.

Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?

Have you ever tried to clean one?

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.

... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.

What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?

"May I push your stool in?"

Have you ever tried sex when camping?

It's f***ing intense.

Why don't the Amish water ski?

The horses would drown.

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you.